Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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