Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
