Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize