I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
