we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
