No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
