I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
