Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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