Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
