A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
