I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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