I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Randomize
