Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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