SEEEEXXX PLEASE
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
