I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
