You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize