She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
