I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I understand Curling. That high.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Please don't give away my fajitas
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
