he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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