Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
