i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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