do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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