Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
