haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
