Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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