talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize