Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
