like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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