I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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