what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
