It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
This toilet bowl is my home.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
