So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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