she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
