So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
