Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
