..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
