Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
this just has baby written all over it
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
