Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
It was like giving head to a cactus.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
