Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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