Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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