I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i barfeds in our rink
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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