I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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