So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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