Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Can you bring me the toilet please
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
