My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
