Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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