how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Randomize
