Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
