I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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