He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
