He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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