i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
