whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
