Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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