What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
