if i died would you start the facebook group?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize