Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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