the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
