Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
