Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Randomize
